Have you ever told someone you loved, that you wanted them to stay home? When they ask why, you reply, "just because I enjoy having you nearby". Almost always, they will ask; what are we going to do? You tell them, "oh nothing", "I just want to know you are there".
I have done this with my kids and others. They were often frustrated because I didn't want them to go anywhere. I just wanted them there. It was like medicine to my soul. I couldn't explain it, and yes, it may have frustrated them, but I loved them and just their presence in the house made me feel better. Others may not be aware of it, or perhaps were aware and won't admit it, but they have just wanted you to be there too.
It was never about the words spoken or the things done, it was just the "being there" that was comforting and mattered so much.
I call it the beautiful and quiet presence of unconditional love. Nobody has to know why, it is just a comforting acceptance of loves presence.
Though it seems torturous to the other party who may seem held hostage by it at that time, they too will one day find and understand that need. The unexplainable desire to have someone they love "just be there" whether a word is spoken, or whether they do anything at all.
Each of us have very different lives, priorities in life, needs, desires, dreams and even things that steal time from us.
Subsequently, we are hindered in responding to every person who writes us, makes a comment, wants a phone call, or a visit, but we all have things that carry us away from all that we would like to do.
For me, the presence of all my friends is sufficient. As I look through all the pictures and videos, read the comments, blogs, feel a prayer, receive a phone call or listen to messages it gives me great joy to hear and see every ones joys, battles, victories, special moments, tragedies, healing and all their favorite stuff. It is then I begin to feel that "quiet and beautiful presence" of unconditional love that says to me; all I need from you friend, is to be there, and let me share with you.
Even if I don't respond in word because of all the things that steal me away; you still share and send me special thoughts, and I hope you trust that I am there and "just being there" is enough.
We all have faults; some similar and others different from each other. But, if we are friends we should be able to count on this one thing: No matter our lack, we can trust the love of our friends is greater than our faults. We can know that we are loving and being loved by "just being there" in the quiet and beautiful presence of unconditional love.
When someone doesn't seem to respond to you the way "you" think they should, as often as "you" think they should, or with the speed "you" think they should, don't send them "guilt messages" about their faults as you see them. Instead, take the opportunity to be a true friend and love them in spite of what you perceive to be faults by "just being there". Continue to send them your thoughts, desires, pictures, etc.., and as your friend, they will respond in their own way and time.
If you "demand" that a "friend" behave according to your code of expectations to be acceptable, then perhaps the mirror could help you find the friend that has failed. All we create when we have this thinking is a cult-following that will fall away the day they realize they haven't been following a friend at all. I hope you get the irony of that.
Let's love each other for who we are, not what we wish each other was, and maybe something more beautiful will develop in all of us; like the quiet and beautiful presence of unconditional love that is content with "just being there".
Just know I am there and I see all that you share and accept you in spite of any faults uniquely or mutually discoverable within us. I bask in the awesome wonder of every detail I discover about you and all that is important to you, as you share those things with me.
Even if I am that still and quiet friend who is "just there" I will always respond; someday, sometime and in some way that is all me.
With Great Love,
Your friend, whether as:
Husband, Father, Dad, Grandfather, Brother, Uncle, Friend, Pastor, Mentor,Prayer Partner,Soldier,Boss,Subordinate,Stranger,Fellow Citizen, Neighbor,Coworker or Ex-Husband.
Go ahead: add to the list the ways you have just been there as a friend to someone when you comment on this blog. Tell us about your special friend experiences.
I have done this with my kids and others. They were often frustrated because I didn't want them to go anywhere. I just wanted them there. It was like medicine to my soul. I couldn't explain it, and yes, it may have frustrated them, but I loved them and just their presence in the house made me feel better. Others may not be aware of it, or perhaps were aware and won't admit it, but they have just wanted you to be there too.
It was never about the words spoken or the things done, it was just the "being there" that was comforting and mattered so much.
I call it the beautiful and quiet presence of unconditional love. Nobody has to know why, it is just a comforting acceptance of loves presence.
Though it seems torturous to the other party who may seem held hostage by it at that time, they too will one day find and understand that need. The unexplainable desire to have someone they love "just be there" whether a word is spoken, or whether they do anything at all.
Each of us have very different lives, priorities in life, needs, desires, dreams and even things that steal time from us.
Subsequently, we are hindered in responding to every person who writes us, makes a comment, wants a phone call, or a visit, but we all have things that carry us away from all that we would like to do.
For me, the presence of all my friends is sufficient. As I look through all the pictures and videos, read the comments, blogs, feel a prayer, receive a phone call or listen to messages it gives me great joy to hear and see every ones joys, battles, victories, special moments, tragedies, healing and all their favorite stuff. It is then I begin to feel that "quiet and beautiful presence" of unconditional love that says to me; all I need from you friend, is to be there, and let me share with you.
Even if I don't respond in word because of all the things that steal me away; you still share and send me special thoughts, and I hope you trust that I am there and "just being there" is enough.
We all have faults; some similar and others different from each other. But, if we are friends we should be able to count on this one thing: No matter our lack, we can trust the love of our friends is greater than our faults. We can know that we are loving and being loved by "just being there" in the quiet and beautiful presence of unconditional love.
When someone doesn't seem to respond to you the way "you" think they should, as often as "you" think they should, or with the speed "you" think they should, don't send them "guilt messages" about their faults as you see them. Instead, take the opportunity to be a true friend and love them in spite of what you perceive to be faults by "just being there". Continue to send them your thoughts, desires, pictures, etc.., and as your friend, they will respond in their own way and time.
If you "demand" that a "friend" behave according to your code of expectations to be acceptable, then perhaps the mirror could help you find the friend that has failed. All we create when we have this thinking is a cult-following that will fall away the day they realize they haven't been following a friend at all. I hope you get the irony of that.
Let's love each other for who we are, not what we wish each other was, and maybe something more beautiful will develop in all of us; like the quiet and beautiful presence of unconditional love that is content with "just being there".
Just know I am there and I see all that you share and accept you in spite of any faults uniquely or mutually discoverable within us. I bask in the awesome wonder of every detail I discover about you and all that is important to you, as you share those things with me.
Even if I am that still and quiet friend who is "just there" I will always respond; someday, sometime and in some way that is all me.
With Great Love,
Your friend, whether as:
Husband, Father, Dad, Grandfather, Brother, Uncle, Friend, Pastor, Mentor,Prayer Partner,Soldier,Boss,Subordinate,Stranger,Fellow Citizen, Neighbor,Coworker or Ex-Husband.
Go ahead: add to the list the ways you have just been there as a friend to someone when you comment on this blog. Tell us about your special friend experiences.
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